


Cookie dough

by Shulik



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/F, Women Being Awesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-13
Updated: 2012-02-13
Packaged: 2017-10-31 03:09:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/339207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shulik/pseuds/Shulik
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On life, love and learning how to be a slayer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cookie dough

These are the men who will control your life. These are the men that will shape you, mold you, direct you and ultimately teach you before abandoning you. 

_It’s all about the power_. 

“Can I keep you?” says the boy with the wide brown eyes, an easy smile and the loose limped gracefulness of youth. He’s beautiful, young, brimming with energy and good cheer even as his eyes widen at your arrival. This is the boy who will love you, lie to you, stand by you and betray you. 

_She stands at the window, a smile on her face and a dagger in her hands. “It’s about damn time, B. I thought you’d be late for our big show-down.”_

He is nothing but a simple possibility now. _Now_. 

You blink and he’s older, grey peppering his temples from the battles fought at your side and the battles fought against you. He only has the one eye left and it’s still warm, still kind, even tinged with the current of sadness that runs through his veins permanently. He fights by you, oh yes, but when darkness is lifted and the world keeps on spinning- he is the first one out the door. 

_”You shoulda been there, B. Quite a ride…” It’s all about the blood. She smiles and takes a step back, away from you and it kills, it hurts- a raw, sucking hole within you as you kill the other half of you. It has to be done though, she has to pay and your lover takes precedence. Doesn’t he?_

Light and dark, light and dark, light and dark- it’s all become interchangeable to you, so tightly woven together that it’s impossible to discern where one begins and the other ends. It’s the story of them, really, their endings and their beginnings- together and you, somehow stuck in the middle of it all. 

Like a fly caught in a spider’s web. Except there are two spiders, aren’t there? And you’re not really a fly as much as a fellow spider lured there by your own stupidity. 

The dark one teaches you about the world and your role as a slayer within it and the light one teaches you about yourself as a slayer and the world that you inhabit. Two sides of the same coin. Light and dark, dark and light. It sounds incredibly familiar to you.

They both leave you in the end. How can they not when they all do? It’s inevitable, really, and yet you still get your heart broken when they go. 

_The Shadowmen made the First Slayer, they grew, they Watched and they learned and they knew that one day you would come along. And you would change things._

_First one, then two, then three- then thousands and you, standing in the shadows and watching the results of your handiwork._

_“It’s just me and you against the world, huh B?” she grins bloodily as you stare at the staggering dead, confused and turned on and **happy**._

You are his Slayer and he is your Watcher and that is the way it is and the way it goes and the way it will be until the end. 

Or, until he leaves you, abandons you in your worst hour of need for your own good. You’re not surprised, not really and though your heart breaks in the worst way possible- you’ve known it was coming. Change is inevitable, change is good even when you rail and rage against it. 

You learn more about the world over the next few years. You learn trickery and deceit and the limits of friendship. You break and you put yourself back together. 

You’re jagged now, with torn edges that blur and fade but hold stronger than before. Fire and ice and everything nice make you stronger, faster, better. More resilient. 

You stand alone, watching as thousands of your sisters carry on your life’s work. 

Except, wait- it’s not really true, is it? Half a lie, B, should really keep track of those… 

“Are you ready?” she says, coming up behind you as you wait to give out the last of your instructions. She waits for you. Sometimes, it makes you wonder to think of all the years that she's spent waiting.

“Have a good vacation guys,” your little sister, the only family you have left, your only reason for living for two years of your life and an incredibly huge pain in your ass smiles at you and pushes you towards the door, “don’t worry, everything will be fine. _We’ll_ be fine. Just go…” 

She laughs beside you, an easy, husky laugh that sounds nothing like the broken sound from your years together. 

Standing in the sunlight, she looks beautiful, strong, weathered and fierce. 

“B?” she cocks her head, watching you happily. 

_”It’s the Chosen two, girlfriend. Get used to it.”_

“Yeah,” you smile and take her hand, “I’m ready.”


End file.
